


A Predicament

by freakin_out



Category: South Park
Genre: Character Death, Future Character Death, I didn't mean for that to happen, Immortality, Jewish Character, Kenny McCormick-centric, Kinda, LGBTQ Character, Mentions of hell, Past Character Death, You’ll see, don't worry kenny will still suffer :), mentions of Damien, no beta we die like men, this starts out very happy uh, uhh i didn't mean to make this as carefree as it started, we in for a doozy, will update as we go - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakin_out/pseuds/freakin_out
Summary: Looking back, it should have been obvious.Kenny looked down at himself, large, hideous scars littering his body. Each one a reminder of his curse. His parent's mistakes. Her death.There was no mistaking it. Something was very wrong.Looking up, Kenny surveyed his friends around him…… they were never supposed to be here.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**1 year and 130 days ago, August 13th, 2005, Saturday Morning at 07:33**

There was an irritating light making its way into Kenny’s room. His room was presented to be clean, but in reality, his closet and drawers were stuffed with dirty clothes and old junk he had accumulated over the years. Even after he finally managed to get a bed frame, he crammed as much as he could underneath in favor of more legroom.

His walls were still its sickly pale yellow, curtains torn and red. The only adequate thing he owned in that room was his sketchbook and pencil pouch which he held any pens, pencils, erasers, and other writing utensils he could get his cheap dirty hands on.

His carpeting was also surprisingly decent. It turns out if you know how to clean, maintaining a carpet wasn’t too bad. It was soft and fluffy. Occasionally, Kenny would lay on his floor just to feel it.

And then immediately migrate to his bed. Who knew what would crawl on him if he fell asleep there.

Speaking of his bed, Kenny lay there in his pajamas (shorts and a tee shirt -- also known as his gym wear), silently craving for death.

Well, not actually wishing for death. That shit _hurt_.

He was supposed to be getting ready for school shopping. Which Kenny absolutely did not want to do.

Alas, his older brother, Kevin, always made him and his sister get up on August 13th to get ready and go shopping. Which was weird. Why such a specific date? No need, Kenny would claim in his head.

Though, Kenny is glad his parents always seem to disappear anytime Kevin comes around to visit. Probably because they don’t want to hear their eldest son berate them for their lack of parental guidance in his and Karen’s life. Kevin still holds a grudge against them. Not that Kenny hates his parents or anything, they had gotten better since his early childhood days but… they were still pretty heavy drinkers.

They don’t throw shit as much though, so that’s a plus.

As Kenny began thinking about this, his poor bedroom door slammed open. Kenny yelped and promptly fell off his bed, bedsheets and all.

Kenny heard a deep laugh, and he groaned. Kenny looked over his bed to the door and saw his most beloved brother standing there, laughing his ass off at Kenny’s sporadic display.

“Kevin!” Kenny complained, drawing out the ‘n’. He tried to scowl at his older brother, but a smile crept upon his face anyways.

After a couple more rounds of giggles, Kevin finally calmed down after laughing at Kenny’s loss of dignity. He wiped the tear in his eye that he had gained from his laughing fit. Kenny rolled his eyes. It wasn’t that funny.

Kevin walked in and surveyed the room, smiling. “Ah, still the same as ever, huh Ken?” Kevin flopped on his bed chest down.

Kenny huffed, “I swear, you’re more of a child than I am. And I’m only 14!” This was all said with a smile from the younger boy.

Kevin peered at him from the bed, “Yea, well. I can drive.”

“I can technically drive.”

“Not legally.”

A pause.

“...You didn’t get your license until you were eighteen- and you’ve been driving since you were twelve!”

“Well that isn’t my fault, now is it?”

Kenny raised an eyebrow and Kevin’s words. He crossed his arms.

Silence.

“....”

“Ken?”

“...”

“Keeennn”

“...”

“..._ugh_. Fine, I’m sorry. No talking smack about the assholes who ‘raised us’ when they’re not here and you and or Karen are present.”

Kenny smiled, and let out some air. He leaned against his bed. “Did you really have to make us wake up this early? We’re not even that far into the month, we could have waited.”

It was Kevin’s turn to roll his eyes. “Yes, we had to get up this early, your highness,” Kenny cringed at the nickname, “because if we didn’t do it today, then you’d have to wait for mom or dad to take you, and you know they’d forget. They’d say ‘we’ll get it next week’ or ‘wait ‘til next paycheck’ and before you know it school’s tomorrow and now you have to dig up your old notebooks from last school year and tear out the pages that are already used and find a goddamn pencil-”

“ALRIGHT!” Kenny shouted, putting his hands up in submission, “I’ll stop complaining, just- stop”

Kevin just looked at him, seeming lost, then blinked. A smile broke out on his face, “Great! I knew you’d come around!” Kevin heaved himself off Kenny’s bed, “Get dressed, and I’ll wake up Karen in the meantime-” and with that, Kevin marched out.

Kenny sighed. He swore his brother has some issues.

And then Kenny was thankful. He loved his little Kare-bear but damn could she be mean if she didn’t get her full twelve hours of sleep. Yes, you heard that right, twelve hours. Kenny blamed her defense classes.

Right then, he heard a startled yell, and a thud of someone hitting the floor.

...maybe they all have issues.

Shaking his head with a small smile, Kenny got up from his spot on the ground and fixed his bed

**⠂**

Kenny had decided to wear his oh so fashionable orange parka with his light brown scarf… how unconventional.

Kenny plopped himself down on their half functioning couch (yes, when one-half of the pegs on the couch was broken that qualified as half functioning, thank you very much Karen), and took out his very well protected Blackberry because there’s no way in hell that he’s going to crack his very expensive phone that he worked for a year to get.

He scrolled through Facebook for a bit, before turning off his phone when his sister and brother emerged from the hallway

Kenny laughed internally when he spotted Kevin’s disgruntled figure. Karen looked as happy as a peach, ready for the day. The little devil she is…

Kenny opened his mouth to mock his brothers' appearance, but his brother's glare stopped him.

“Not a word outta you.” Kenny just shrugged and stood up.

Kevin sighed, “We all good?”

Kenny and Karen looked at each other, then at Kevin, and nodded.

Another sigh, “Alright, in the truck you two.” Kevin smiled as he watched his two younger siblings scramble to the door.

**⠂**

Kenny hopped down from the front seat of his brother’s large maroon truck. It was a survivor, seeing as parts of it were rusted over and it sounded like it was coughing every time Kevin turned on the engine.

Kevin helped Karen out while Kenny rounded the truck to join them.

Karen smiled at Kevin before taking both his and Kenny’s hand. They made their way into the mall.

**⠂**

Kenny frowned, “Hey Kevin…”

“Hmm?”

“Why are we in Footlocker? Last time I checked, we were shopping for school supplies, not a wardrobe.”

Kevin looked at Kenny, who was sitting on a bench, staring at his brother suspiciously.

“Well, Ken, it’s been a year since I’ve been able to visit and go shopping with you, so I figured you hadn’t bought any new clothes for a while.”

Kenny just tilted his head and shrugged.

Kevin sighed, “Kenny,” he crouched to look Kenny in the eyes. Kenny’s blue and hazel met Kevin’s light brown.

“I know you don’t like it when people spend money on you. Hell, I don’t even like it when my roommate gets me carry out! But someone getting you something isn’t supposed to mean they pity you. It means that they’re nice enough to give you something because they care about you. And you have to learn to accept it, because they’ll think you don’t appreciate it- or even worse, them.”

Kenny scrunched his nose, “A, that made no sense. And B, how do you always know what I’m thinking?”

Kevin grinned, and bopped Kenny’s nose, “I’m your older brother, I’m supposed to know what you’re thinking.”

Kenny backed up slightly, affronted by Kevin’s hand. How dare he?

Looking around, Kenny furrowed his eyebrows, “where’s Karen?”

Kevin backed up, “she’s over by the kiddy section since her feet are smaller than yours. Though, not by much.”

Kenny half-heartedly glared at his brother, before groaning and sitting back down. “Fine, I’ll take a pair of shoes.”

A smile started to form on Kevin’s face, and his mouth began to open, “Which-“

“Whichever one I look at first.”

There’s the frown.

“...Ken,”

A groan, “Ugh! Uh, something I can run in. And is durable… _waterproof?_ Uhm… maybe make it multi-purpose…”

He was still frowning. They both knew why he was asking for so many purposes. Death wasn’t an easy thing to run from.

“Hmm…” Kevin paused and looked around.

He spotted a box and walked over to it. “How about… multi-purpose heavy-duty shoes that are resistant to water, ice, fire, dirt, annnd electricity?” Kevin looked at Kenny in question.

All Kenny could do was shrug.

Narrowing his eyes, Kevin spoke, “you win this time, ya little devil. At least try them on. I’m gonna go check on Karen.” Kevin tossed him the shoe box and walked away.

Kenny fumbled the box for a moment, before settling. Which was not fair. He was so good at volleyball, but he couldn’t catch a measly box? What a shame he is.

Opening the box, Kenny surveyed the shoes.

He let out a small whistle. The shoes were ultimately white (which would change very soon) and had red shoelaces.

Good enough for him.

**⠂**

Kevin decided after three more hours of shopping, they could go have lunch.

Looking at his phone, Kenny noted that it was already 1 o’clock. Asshole.

They entered the restaurant that Kenny did not care to remember the name of, and waited for a table.

After they sat down, Karen pointed out the white lilies outside.

Huh.

He didn’t know flowers were still blooming this time of year.

**⠂**

Their parents were home when they got back.

Kevin groaned as he saw their dad’s teal truck in the front. Their mom was on the porch, watching them. The porch light was lit, and moths kept surrounding it and occasionally his mother.

Kenny checked his phone. It was now 7:49.

..they _may_ have gone ice skating for a couple of hours.

With Kevin’s truck parked, Kenny slithered his way to the ground (could his truck be any shorter?). Kenny walked up to his mother while Kevin helped Karen out the back.

His mother raised an eyebrow as he approached, looking unimpressed. “And where have you three been all day? Your fatha’ and I haven’t even been able to say ‘hi’ to Kevin yet.”

Before Kenny could answer, he felt a presence behind him. Looking back, he saw Kevin, carrying several bags and holding Karen’s hand with his free one. He looked annoyed.

“Hey, ma.”

Whoops, time for him and Karen to skedaddle.

Kenny made eye contact with Karen, and she frowned. She tugged on Kevin’s arm and went to grab the bags. He let her. Kenny grabbed most of the items when she walked over to him.

The two youngest slipped inside. Their dad was asleep on the couch with the lights off, the sharp blue light from tv illuminating the room.

Silently, the two made it past the living room and entered Karen’s room.

Kenny let out a relieved sigh when he shut the door quietly. He turned to look at Karen. Her brows were furrowed.

“I don’t get it,” she started, sitting down on her floor.

Kenny followed suit and began sorting through the bags.

“Why do they always fight when they see each other?”

Kenny kept filtering through the bags. He put one of Karen’s tops in her a bag with her school supplies. He then grabbed his dress (don’t ask) and folded it neatly in a different bag.

“It’s not like they get to see each other very often, what’s the point in getting mad at each other?”

Oh! Kenny pulled out some graphite pencils Kevin had gotten him. He was getting low, and he was eternally grateful for any form of art supplies he could get his hands. He even got a small little sketchbook he can bring around for ideas.

“...Kenny?”

Ah, dang. He should have asked Kevin for the receipt. Or should have stolen it earlier. He couldn’t find it anywhere in the bags. Maybe he left it in the car…

“_KENNY_!”

“aH- _WHAT_?”

Karen glared at Kenny, unamused. “You weren’t even listening to me, were you?”

A shrug.

“Kenny!”

“Alright alright- I heard you fine! I just-“

“You just what?”

Kenny sighed, “It’s just- Kevin still has a grudge on mom and dad from before- like, yeah, I know they weren’t the best, but they stopped breaking everything, and they remember to feed us and take us to school, now.”

Karen faltered, “... I can barely remember the opposite of those things happening, Ken.”

“Well, yeah. You just barely started school. Of course, you’re going to have a hard time remembering. They were gone for a bit for parent counseling before they were allowed near us again.”

She frowns, “oh.”

Kenny hums and continues to sort out their belongings. After a brief moment, Karen helps as well.

**⠂**

A thud reverberated from several bags when Kenny tossed them to the floor. He could put them away later.

He heard quiet arguing from outside his window. While technically the porch ended beyond his window, his brother and mother were doing a poor job of staying completely anonymous.

Kenny listened.

“...there’s no reason why you can’t! It’s your guys’ fault that they’re in this situation!”

“Don’t you talk to me that way- I am your mother! Your fatha’ and I are trying our hardest, and you-”

“NO! You two still don’t know what you’re doing. You should be saving your money, not spending it on beer and wine- for Christ's sake-”

“How would you even know what we spend our money on?!”

There’s a scoff.

“I can take one look into the living room and see the empty beer cans littering the floor! And your ‘precious son’ hasn’t had a chance to clean them, has he?”

Kenny pursed his lips. It was true. He didn’t want Karen to have to play in a dirty environment, so he always cleaned up the house whenever he could.

… sans his room, because he never really spent too much time in there.

Plus, it’s different when you’re cleaning something that others will use.

“Hey-”

“What? You know it’s true.”

… silence.

“...Kevin-“

“I’m heading home.” He heard shuffling. “Don’t bother to tell dad I stopped by- he’d forget, anyways.”

Kenny stared at his ceiling. There was the sound of gravel, and then a car door opening, then shutting. An engine. Tires squealed. Kevin must’ve pulled out hard.

Kenny strained his ears.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Eventually, Kevin would’ve argued with one of his parents.

He just didn’t think it’d happen in one day.

Suddenly, Kenny heard a small noise. A sniffle, and a defeated weep.

Kenny felt his heart sink.

He… hated hearing his mother cry.

The front door close creaked closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**1 year and 128 days ago, August 15th, 2005, Monday Afternoon at 13:12**

Kenny cringed when he observed Clyde fall on his ass for the umpth time on ice.

Stan had called Kenny earlier that day to tell him to meet them at Stark’s Pond. Why he was needed, Kenny knew not. Before he had a chance to ask why the hell Stan needed him at the pond, he heard Kyle in the background yell. He must’ve shouted at Stan to hurry up, because there was a hasty goodbye, and the line was dead.

Assholes, the lot of them.

… still, he had no idea why Craig and his people were here. Then again, they were here before Kenny. They probably had their own agenda.

Clyde had dropped onto the ice across the pond. Kenny could make out that crybaby from afar. Craig and Tweek were sitting on the bench, seeming to ignore the world and just… talk. Gross, get a room. Token had gone out on the ice to help Clyde out.

It seemed like Jimmy was absent. Probably doing something with Timmy. Like… _science_, or something.

A hand grasped Kenny’s shoulder.

_“Kenny!”_

Kenny yelped and spun around swiftly. He spotted Stan, who seemed slightly apologetic.

Withdrawing his hand from Kenny’s shoulder, Stan rubbed his neck, “Hey, dude. Sorry about that. We spotted you and tried to call you over, but you weren’t hearing us.”

Kenny blinked and glanced passed Stan. He noticed Kyle, who only looked 32% annoyed, standing next to Cartman, who was on his phone.

Looking back up to Stan, Kenny smiled sheepishly, “Hah… Uhm. Sorry.” His words were muffled by his ever-present parka.

Stan just shrugged, “It’s cool, man. Though, we probably shouldn’t leave Kyle and Cartman alone for too long. You know how they get.” He didn’t seem to have any issues hearing Kenny’s words. None of his friends did.

He didn't understand how they got it. It… was honestly a little strange, sometimes. Kenny promptly stepped past Stan to join the other two outliers.

Cartman eyed him, “Well, if it isn’t little piss poor boy. Stan give you some hearing aids since you can’t seem to afford them?”

Ah, good ol’ Cartman.

Ignoring him, Kenny looked at Kyle and raised an eyebrow. Although most of his face was covered, Kyle was still able to surmise what Kenny was waiting for. A grin broke out on the redheads face.

“Hey Ken, we found something- it was sitting at the entrance of the dump. We were gonna bring what we found with us, but I figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to get arrested this early in the day-”

Cartman piped in, “He’s just a pussy-”

“I am not, Cartman. Now shut up. We decided to meet you here so we could seem less suspicious, but I guess that didn’t work.” Kyle’s eyes went to look at something behind Kenny’s shoulder.

Kenny went to follow his eyes and turned around.

… only to run into Stan.

The blond made a small noise, and Stan laughed. Slowpoke.

Looking around Stan, Kenny saw Craig’s posse still hanging out on the other side of the pond. He rolled his eyes. “I don’t think they care what we do, Kyle. We’re not that important.”

Kyle huffed and rolled his eyes. How sassy. “Fine, but I still don’t want them to find what we found, so we’re leaving now.”

**⠂**

They made it to the dump in about thirty minutes. They would have gotten there faster if Kyle and Cartman hadn’t stopped to fight every two seconds. Their own eagerness to go riled them up and, ironically, delayed their travel.

Kenny looked over at all the filth encased in a wire fence. South Park’s dump wasn’t too far from his house, so he saw this beloved monument occasionally.

Feeling slightly irritated, Kenny scrunched his eyebrows. They… made him go all the way to Stark’s Pond to meet up… only to make him basically backtrack to two blocks from his house.

Dramatic bitches.

Kenny shook his head and surveyed the dump to look for whatever mysterious item his friends had found.

Cartman’s spoke up, “We hid it, dipshit. Didn’t want any other assholes to spot what we found.”

Of course. “Then where is it? You-”

Kyle interrupted him, looking annoyed, “Ken, we’re alone. You can take off your hood.”

Ah, yes. Kyle always got annoyed when it was just them and Kenny spoke with his hood up. Kenny hummed and pulled down his hood.

And immediately opened his mouth to let out a screech, but Stan’s hand slapped itself onto his face. Bummer.

“Dude,” Stan started, looking firmly at Kyle, “you know he gets annoyed when you do that. Just let him keep the hood on.”

Kyle glared, “Yeah? Well, _I_ get annoyed when he keeps his hood on when it's just us.”

Stan narrowed his eyes, “Yeah, well _you_ don’t let out a screech of defiance whenever you get annoyed-”

Kenny removed Stan’s hand from his mouth, “Well actually, my friends, Kyle does screech when he’s arguing with Eric-” annnd the hand’s back.

A raised eyebrow from Stan was directed at Kyle. The latter just rolled his eyes, “Fine, do what you want, Kenny.”

Kenny smiled and moved from Stan’s hand. Stan let him.

He decided to keep his hood down since there wasn't truly any harm in leaving it down. He just enjoyed torturing his friends, when the moment was opportune.

Cartman snorted, “If you ladies are done, I can take us to the goods now.” And with that, Cartman began leading them deeper into the dump. Kenny just smiled and followed. He heard the other two shuffle for a moment, before following.

The brunette led them a couple of yards forward before rounding a corner. Kenny looked behind himself to check on Stan and Kyle, only to see them both covering their noses. They looked miserable. Kenny laughed as they scowled at him.

When the others caught up to Cartman, the boy unraveled a bulky wooden box that was previously covered in a blue tarp.

And Kenny immediately tensed.

He heard Stan speak up, “We found it near the side inside the dump -- just barely spotted it! We were actually on our way over to yours before we found it-”

Kenny slowly backed up.

Cartman interrupted Stan, “Uh, we were?”

Kyle sighed, “Yeah? Kenny likes to sleep in, so we decided to just hang out in town for a bit until after twelve -- I think you usually get up at twelve, right Ken-”

Stan, “Yeah yeah, anyways, we were thinking of either storing this or blowing stuff up. TNT isn’t easy to come by.”

The wooden box had black printed letters on it that read, ‘TNT.’

… Kenny was _definitely_ going to die today.

**⠂**

Kenny greatly disliked his friends at the moment (his mother never liked them to use the word hate).

They decided to drag him back to Stark’s Pond, which didn’t help his already foul mood, to blow things up.

Luckily, Craig and his people had left.

Unluckily, they had Kenny carrying the explosives.

He was surprised he lasted this long.

And while Kenny honestly didn’t want to die today… he’d rather it be him than one of his mortal friends…

But it didn’t help that he was only 5’4 and 123 pounds having to carry an extremely heavy box. Maybe he should’ve let Stan carry it. That guy is huge. Has decent height and muscle.

Kenny let out a loud groan when they finally arrived and placed the box down on the snow as gently as he could.

So not very.

Thankfully, the box did not explode and separate him into smithereens. Hurray!

Kenny turned to his so-called friends, “So-” he took a breath, “uhhh, what are we doing again?” _Jeesh_, it was hard to breathe.

Stan sat down on the bench sitting beside the pond, “Take a break dude, you carried that thing all the way across town, pretty much!” Stan patted the spot next to himself. Kenny happily plopped himself down.

Kyle smacked Stan in the head lightly, “Dude, why’d you even let him carry it? You’re supposed to be our pack mule.”

_“Hey!”_

“Hah! You’re just all muscle, unlike Moi-” Cartman gestured to himself, and then his brain. Kenny snorted, “You mean you’re crazy as well as fat? Yeah, there’s a _big_ difference between you two. Good job, Eric!”

“You _little_-”

Kyle clapped his hands loudly. All three boys flinched and looked at Kyle in various degrees of surprise and annoyance. He cleared his throat, “Alright, we get it, Cartman is fat, Stan is dumb and Kenny is short-”

This started three protests from the mentioned boys. But before any of them could get a word out, Kyle held up a hand, _“but!”_ he continued, “We have obtained TNT from the dump, and we’re at a secluded lake where we can go crazy and let ourselves riot for a bit-” he smiled.

“Let’s blow some shit up!”

Kenny, Stan, and Cartman all cheered, pumping their fists in the air.

“Yeah! Good job speech boy!”

“Don’t push it, shortie.”

“Yeah, alright.”

Cartman and Stan began to open the TNT box, and Kenny watched. He did carry the thing by himself, after all… he may be a little salty.

A thought struck Kenny, and he twisted around to face Kyle. “Hey, Kye, do me a favor and hold onto this for me-” he shoved his phone into the other's hand. Kyle gave him a weird look.

“Why-”

“Oh! Good idea, Ken!” Stan stepped away from the box and handed Kyle his phone. Kyle looked even more confused.

Cartman looked over, “Aye! We making the jew hold our shit? Hold on,” he walked over to Kyle and shoved his phone at his chest.

Kyle squawked in protest, “Hey assholes, hold your own shit!”

Kenny swiftly marched towards the TNT box as the others followed suit.

**⠂**

An explosion rang through the air, and Kenny smirked.

The water had splashed from where he had through the old dynamite stick. No one questioned why Cartman had a lighter on him. He had most definitely been caught with worse.

Stan let out a loud whoop! As he tossed a stick into the sky above the lake. Kyle was standing next to them, grinning.

The dynamite stick Stan had thrown blew up in the air, smoke emerging and the fire erupting. The boys cheered even as it finally fell down and into the cold water. Kyle decided that the lake was shallow enough that one or two sticks would do the trick to make a hole. How Clyde didn’t fall in is beyond Kenny.

Kenny looked at the sky, and then at Kyle, “How long have we been out here?” Kyle checked the time on his own phone.

“Well,” he started, “we met you around one, and left around one-twenty…” Well, Kyle’s doing fancy math in his head. Kyle’s eyes flashed, and he looked at Kenny. “We’ve been here for around forty minutes.”

“Time?”

Kyle glanced down at his phone, “... 3:32?”

Kenny shook his head, “close, Ky. We’ve been here for about thirty.” Kenny smiled at him, “good work, though!”

Kyle grumbled and looked back towards the ice.

Kenny chuckled. He certainly didn’t mean to, but sometimes Kyle overthought things. He helped keep him on his toes. Plus, he’s pretty sure Kyle writes these down later. Nerd.

Looking inside the box, Kenny frowned. There were only five sticks left. They had started at about sixteen. Kenny reached in and grabbed it.

He examined the piece of dynamite. The typical red cylinder. A classic. He wondered why they were at the dump. Did someone not want them? And why keep them filled? Not very Kenny friendly, if you asked him.

Kenny looked back at the box and cringed. Whoever labeled these were completely wrong. This dynamite must’ve been from a rather unreliable source. He wonders if the buyer was looking to buy TNT or dynamite.

Standing back, Kenny walked away from the box with another stick in hand. He joined Stan and Cartman next to the lake. He held up his piece.

“Hey, Eric. Light me up?” Cartman snickered and brought out his lighter. The two brought each respective item closer before the small flame caught onto the wick. Kenny grinned and brought his hand back.

He waited a moment, and then he chucked the piece of dynamite as far as he could. The teens laughed as another piece exploded in the air.

Stan went to follow suit with another piece himself, but a shout from Kyle stopped him.

“H-hEY WAIT-”

They all turned to look at Kyle.

“There was a goddamn bird and it snatched Cartman’s phone!”

_“WHAT?!”_ Cartman pushed both Kenny and Stan away as he wobbled towards Kyle. The redhead took a step back once the other teen reached him. “What do you mean a bird took my phone? You piece of shit- you’re lying! Gimme my phone back!”

Kyle held his hands up, “dude, I’m not lying, why would I want your fucking phone? Just- there!” Kyle pointed to the sky.

Kenny turned around and saw a large bird- maybe a hawk, circling the ice. It had a red bulky rectangle in its claws.

“HEY!” Cartman shouted “GIVE THAT BACK YOU ASSHOLE! _I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE!_” Kenny winced. Like that thing would listen to them-

Claws released the phone.

And promptly fell onto the frozen lake, next to the hole made by their dynamite.

_… well then…_

_“GODDAMNIT-”_

Stan looked away from the scene to glance at Kenny, “well, it let go, didn’t it?”

He let himself laugh.

Kenny looked back towards the lake and frowned.

The phone was too far into the lake for anyone to be able to grab it safely -- hopefully, Cartman understood this. He could afford another one, anyways.

“Poor boy! Grab my phone.” Spoke too soon.

Kenny was shoved forward by Cartman. A sigh escaped him, but Kenny accepted his fate and walked gingerly on the ice.

“Be careful, dude.” Kenny resisted rolling his eyes.

Kenny looked down. He had one foot on the ice, another still in the snow. Warily, he placed his other foot on the ice. He stood for a second, waiting.

… nothing happened.

He let out a sigh and proceeded forward. One foot went gingerly in front of the other. And then the other. This process was repeated several times, with Kenny occasionally slipping and Stan or Kyle letting out a small hiss whenever he did. When Kenny would glance back, he’d spot Cartman crossing his arms, looking annoyed he had to wait for his phone.

Kenny ended up about three feet away from the phone and hole. At this point, he moved to his hands and knees. Wouldn’t be very helpful if he bent down to pick up the phone only to fall in the hole.

He slid himself gently closer to the phone, making sure he didn’t overshoot himself. He was closer. Kenny reached his hand forward to grab the phone, but he ended up tapping it a couple of inches away.

Kenny groaned. Another misstep like that and Cartman’s phone would end up in the pond.

He scooted himself forward again, enough to be able to grab the phone. And possibly be a whole two feet closer to the hole. Kenny slowly brought out his hand again, this time moving his hand so he’d grab the phone from the opposite side. Kenny’s heart skipped when the phone slid towards him when he tapped it, and his other hand shot out and snatched the phone from the ice.

Kenny grinned and whipped around to present the phone triumphantly. His friends cheered, and Kenny went to glide himself away from the hole.

But before he could, there was a _sizzle_, _pop_, and _crack!_ A searing pain erupted from his hand, and Kenny’s vision went white, then black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny wakes up

**1 year and 124 days ago, August 19th, 2005, Friday Morning at 08:43**

_ … _

_ … _

_ … _

_ Well, that was a long time due. _

Kenny opened his eyes and stared at his bedroom ceiling. 

He lay there for a moment, before slowly lifting himself. 

He stared at his hands.

There was always this strange feeling he had every time he was resurrected. 

He blinked a few times.

He was wearing his parka like always. Though, his boots weren’t there. That wasn’t an unusual occurrence -- usually, they were in the closet when he woke up. 

No phone though.

Kenny let out a sigh and finally looked at the time on his alarm clock. It read 8:46 AM. He didn’t know what day it was. 

And with that notion, he shifted his legs off his bed. He lifted his arms above his head and stretched for a moment, before getting up towards his door. 

He made his way down the hall. When he checked on Karen, she wasn’t there. 

When he made it to the end, he peeked his head out into the living room. His dad was asleep on the couch with, to his surprise, no beer cans around. He looked pretty worn though.

Kenny looked into the kitchen just to the right and jumped when his mom's eyes caught his.

She was sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal. She looked like she had been hit by a train.

So basically, a wreck. 

The two McCormicks stared at each other, before his mother sighed, and waved him over. Kenny timidly went. 

Before he could sit, she spoke up, “get some cereal, Ken.” Ah, breakfast. Kenny nodded. After fixing himself a bowl (he made sure to add plenty of sugar while his mom was distracted by her phone -- their cereal was extremely bland), he sat down next to his mom. 

They sat and ate their breakfast for about a minute, and then she sighed, “Okay, what happened this time, Kenny?” Ah, the age-old question.

“Ah- uhm-” Kenny paused. What did cause him to explode? His mother raised a brow. 

“Uhmm, well -- me and the guys found some stuff in the garbage dump -- explosive stuff. We went to the pond to throw them for fun and- well, you know how that turned out.” The dynamite must’ve left behind some residue after each initial explosion. The packaging was pretty dodgy."

During his explanation, his mother looked more and more tired, before she just seemed plain defeated. Kenny grimaced, “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, “not your fault -- well, yes your fault for playing with dynamite, but everything else that happens is not yours.”

“Yeah, but I don’t like scaring you and dad whenever I disappear for a couple of days, only to reappear without anyone's knowledge looking perfectly fine."

His mom pursed her lips and looked away. 

“... and uh, by the way, what day is it…?” His mom sighed harshly and got up. She walked out, and a couple of seconds later, a door opens a closes a little harder than it should have. 

… probably should have waited to ask.

Kenny sat there, pitying himself for a few more seconds, before resuming back to his food -- his cereal was getting soggy.

After a few moments, with his bowl rinsed and cleaned and put on the drying rack, Kenny went to bother his dad.

He tiptoed into the living room, attempting to stay quiet and light (which was easy, considering his diet -- and he totally wasn’t trying to make himself taller, yup). He put himself between the television and his father. He was still out. Mom must’ve turned off the television because it was off.

… or it was broken again. One of the two.

Kenny leaned in front of his father, and whispered, “_pssshh_\- Dad.”

… nothing.

The boy groaned internally, “Dad.”

His father let out a snore.

“DAD!”

The man let out a startled yell and fell off the couch.

… huh. So that’s what that looked like.

His father groaned, “what the hell…” he got himself off the ground, and back onto the couch. He eyed Kenny, “boy, why you let me fall like that? Have you no respect?”

He knew his Dad didn’t mean it in a bad way but… 

Kenny smiled nervously, “Nah, I just had a question. Mom wouldn’t tell me because… well, you know how she gets.

His father’s eyes changed, “ah, yeah…” he rubbed his neck, “welcome back to the land of the living.” Kenny snorted, “yeah, thanks for noticing.”

His Dad rolled his eyes, “don’t be like that, it’s not my fault they never remember.”

Oh, _ouch_, right where it hurts, huh? 

Kenny frowns, “no, that doesn’t bother me anymore.” His father narrowed his eyes at him but said nothing. They weren’t the ones to talk about feelings with each other.

His Dad leaned back, “well then, what’d’ ya need? If you’re back, and I can finally get back to work.”

Kenny’s eyes lit up, “oh! It’s a weekday?” 

His father stared at him, unamused, “so a date, huh? Couldn’t have checked your phone? Or did another one get destroyed?”

The boy’s heart jumped for a moment, “n-no! I gave my phone to Kyle, thank god-” 

His Dad chuckled, before answering, “It’s Friday. It’s been about four days”

Kenny groaned, “Noo, now they’re gonna accuse me of running away again…”

A hum, “hmm, well. Avoiding them won’t help. Might as well get your phone back.”

“...fine.” 

“And get the mail on your way out! They started sending out your school stuff yesterday.”

**⠂**

While Kenny was relieved that he had finally died again (it had been two weeks since the last one), he didn’t particularly want to see his friends at the moment. He had always been a little cranky when he woke back up.

Wasn’t because he held a grudge _nope_, no grudge-holding here sir.

Too bad he wasn’t able to see Damien this time. Usually, only the demon or Death can decide when Kenny can visit the underworld after death. Damien must’ve still been annoyed with Kenny with the prank he pulled last time. 

Kenny inwardly groaned when he reached Kyle’s house. Time to face the music. 

He walked up the two cemented steps onto its platform and knocked.

The door swiftly open moments later, Kyle’s mother appearing from the other side. 

She raised a brow, “Kenny… whatever brings you here…?”

Kenny smiled politely, “Hello, Mrs. Broflovski, I was just stopping by to grab something. I gave Kyle my phone the other day and forgot to get it back from him. Is it okay if he brings it to me- or if I go up? Unless he isn’t here. Of course-”

“He’s here, hun.” She looked a little lost at his pace of speaking, but turned around and put her hand to her mouth, “KYLE, YOUR FRIEND IS HERE!”

Kenny winced, and there was a thud from upstairs, “OKAY- YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOUT!”

_Neither do you... _

Mrs. Broflovski shook her head and opened the door wider for Kenny to walk in. She gestured to the couch, and he smiled. He sat down, and the lady walked into the kitchen.

Kenny hummed as he sat there. He kicked his legs back and forth to entertain himself. Kenny paused and then took off his hood. He resumed his light kicking.

After a few seconds, Kenny heard a door open, and footsteps coming down the stairs.

Kenny craned his head and saw white socks emerge from the top of the stairs. Kyle walked down in his day clothes, obviously with no gloves or coat. Kyle always wore his hat -- though he was fine with taking it off if needed.

The redhead made it down the stairs, and Kenny waved and grinned.

Kyle stopped for a moment, seeming a little surprised. He shook his head and made his way over to the blonde.

Kenny watched as the other leaned on the couch from behind, “and where have you been, McCormick?” 

_Ah shit_. He didn’t know what they thought happened yet. 

Kenny rolled his eyes, “I dunno, where have I been, Broflovski?” He rolled his ‘r’.

Kyle scoffed, “I don’t know, you just got scared of a little explosion and ran off -- not to mention Cartman’s pissed at you. You should’ve just kept his phone on you because now his is in the bottom of Stark’s Pond somewhere.”

Ah, that’s what happened. He’ll have hell to pay later. Thankfully, not literally.

Then, Kenny sat up straight, “you still have my phone?”

Kyle frowned, then sighed. He reached into his pocket and handed Kenny his beloved… way too overpriced phone.

“Thanks, man,” Kenny grinned, but it faltered when he looked up at Kyle’s face to see him still frowning. “...something wrong.”

“Why do you do that?”

Kenny tilted his head, “do… what?” Smile? Laugh? It made him feel better, sue him.

“No,” Kyle shook his head, “why do you always ditch us, it’s not cool.”

Kenny bristled.

“... I’m sorry, _what_?” 

Kyle seemed to lose his confidence at Kenny’s sudden sharp tone.

“... nevermind, dude.”

The two stayed there for a moment, the atmosphere becoming painfully tense and somewhat awkward.

Kenny could usually hang out with Cartman and Stan by themselves just fine. Eric just liked to bitch and scheme while playing video games, while Stan really just went with the flow and could do whatever together.

But with Kyle… it depends. Sometimes they get along great! Kenny actually understands what Kyle talks about, and they can usually be fine. 

The issue with Kyle, though, is that he asks questions. 

And when he's curious about something, he turns into a goddamn hound dog. He would stop at nothing to get to the bottom of the situation. Kenny always made sure to be extra careful around him.

...but sometimes, he couldn't help himself.

Kenny shook his head. He wasn’t sure. He just knew Kyle was very overbearing about his friends and plans.

There was a sigh, and Kenny looked back to Kyle, “sorry, man. I’m just a little stressed. School’s starting back up soon -- I mean, we’ll be sophomores! I…” Boy was he bad at digging himself out of a hole.

Kenny decided to lend him a shovel.

“Well, did you get your schedule yet?”

Kyle stuttered for a moment at Kenny’s sudden peaceful attitude. He took it.

“Uhm, yeah. They sent them out yesterday. I haven’t had a chance to get organized yet but-“

Kenny shoved his hand into his pocket and dug out his own schedule.

“Well, then. Let us exchange classes, my good sir.”

**⠂**

The two had ended up in Kyle’s bedroom. Kenny hung upside down off the bed, while Kyle took a spot at his desk chair.

“We have most of our classes together, for the first semester. We won’t have 5th period together on Monday’s because, well, band.”

Kyle hummed and wrote something down. 

“Also, you thinking of doing any clubs again this year?”

This time, Kyle stopped, and looked at Kenny, “maybe? It depends”

Kenny tried to nod, but when he did, he felt dizzy. Kenny shook his head and turned so his stomach was facing down and was more on the bed. He put his head in his hands, “depends on what?”

“Well…” Kyle started, putting his pen down, “what clubs they’re still offering, what ones we’re allowed to join, and whether or not I want to play basketball this year.”

Kenny blinked, “... you thinking of not playing?” 

Kyle shrugged, “well, I only did it because Stan was supposed to do it with me, but he ended up being a football jock, y’know? Plus, I don’t feel too passionate about it.”

“Ah,” Kenny nodded, “I get ya. That’s why I do absolutely nothing.” 

The other rolled his eyes, “oh please, you could do anything and be good at it. You even won a goddamn _beauty pageant_ for Christ's sake! And those are for girls!”

“Hey! Ever heard of crossdressing? Or drag queens? It’s 2005, let us be-”

“Dude, no one cares about that stuff.”

Kenny sighed. Sad times.

“Fine, see if I help you with your science homework.”

He quickly turned around and wrapped himself in Kyle’s bed sheets, ruining the once made mattress. He heard Kyle laugh as he started squirming a bit. 

Kyle piped up, “what about you, what clubs are you thinking of joining?”

Kenny stopped squirming and poked his head out of his blanket burrito to address Kyle.

“Probably Theatre, Art, and Music again. Maybe the LGBT and Cooking Club, if they’re any good.”

Kyle furrowed his brows, “a, that seems like a lot, and b, LGBT? What is that?”

Kenny smiled, “it’s where all the gays get together and have a big ol' orgy-,” and with that, he retreated into his burrito.

A sigh came from Kyle, and before he knew it, he was splayed out on the floor, his precious tortilla blanket torn from him.

He looked at Kyle, “dude, you do not mess with a man’s burrito blanket.”

Kyle laughed, “you were kinda asking for it.”

The blonde pursed his lips, then smiled, “_yeah_, but still-” he squinted.

“_Uhuh_,” Kyle gave him a deadpan look, “and what about cooking?”

“Ah, I just like making food -- but maybe the school will offer better supplies and ingredients.”

“And all of the other clubs you’re in?”

Kenny paused.

“... okay, so maybe there’s a _bit_ too much.”

Kyle scooted closer to Kenny on his wheely chair, “gonna drop one?”

He shook his head, “no, I don’t really wanna drop any of them. I can just- try to manage with five? There are five days in a school week, so it shouldn’t be that bad.”

Kyle raised an eyebrow at Kenny, “Clubs don’t work like that, Ken.”

The blonde rolled around on the bed again, and ended up back on his back, “Hey, let a man dream.”

Kyle huffed out a laugh. For a few seconds, they sat there in silence…

“...oh yeah. I have something to tell you, dude.”

_ Oh? _

“Yeah? What’s up?”

Kyle looked at Kenny, “My Mom and Dad booked a small last-minute vacation up north with Stan and Cartman’s parents, so you won’t be seeing me or the others until later. I asked my mom why we couldn’t bring you and your parents and she, well, you know how she gets…”

Kenny felt a pang of bitterness. Ah, of course.

He sat up, “It’s no problem, dude. I can just hang out with Karen.” He’d probably just hang out in the woods or near the pond. Nature had always calmed him -- even if it had decided to off him several times.

Kenny leaned down and snatched the beds blanket off the floor. He flung it over on himself. 

“So where are you guys going?”

“We’re going to a mediocre hotel to stay at, and then we’re going hiking on some canyons. Stan’s mom is in a weird nature phase, don’t ask why.”

Aw damn, hiking. Kenny would love that if he had the energy.

“Well, have fun I guess? You can always stay back and smoke weed with me.”

“Kenny, you don’t smoke. You hate how it smells.”

“It’s a metaphor.”

“For what?”

“My teenage rebellion.”

Kyle shook his head, but Kenny could see that he couldn’t hide his grin.

“Well, have fun on your trip with fatass and the alcoholic, Broflovski.”

Kyle smiled, “We'll try. Won’t be as fun without you, though.”

How courteous.

“You’ll be fine.” 

Kenny looked towards the window, “have fun, Kyle.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied! I got impatient
> 
> Also I finally remembered how to format! So that's fun ahh
> 
> Since I'm updating today, there will be no update this Friday or next Friday (probably)
> 
> At the moment I'm only one chapter ahead -- which isn't a terrible spot to be in but... y'know.


	4. Chapter 4

**1 year and 7 days ago, September 5th, 2005, Monday Morning at 06:07**

To recap, Kevin had left earlier that month back to his own place (he worked at his local auto parts), Cartman had yelled at him about his lost phone (even after his mom had gotten him one in the four days he was gone), and the gang had just gotten back from their last-minute vacation a couple of days ago.

So where did this leave Kenny? 

Waking up at 6:00 in the morning having to get ready for school. Not even Labor Day off, huh?

Kenny shook his head, and spit out the toothpaste into the sink. He put his blue toothbrush into the holder, next to a green one. 

He rubbed his face and undressed to shower.

**⠂**

Kenny had made it to the bus stop first. He had managed to shower in about ten minutes before Karen yelled at him to get out. 

Of course, one couldn’t just simply disobey a cranky Karen.

Kenny huffed. It wasn’t too cold yet, but he wore his parka anyways. Couldn’t change the status quo, now could he? He checked his phone.

6:58 am. He was early. The bus wouldn’t get there until 7:15.

A sigh escaped him. He kicked at the ground. A breeze swept by and Kenny shivered. He probably should’ve blow-dried his hair.

Suddenly, his hood was smoothly lifted onto his head. Kenny blinked and grasped onto it. He glimpsed to his right to find Stan standing there, a small smirk on his face.

“Dude, you’re so oblivious sometimes.” Kenny scowled up at Stan, but a smile made its way on his face anyway, “Yeah, well at least I’m not just all brawn and no brains.”

Stan scoffed and looked away. He was still smirking.

“You’re here early, how long have you’ve been waiting?” 

Kenny shrugged, “Not long. How was the trip? I haven’t seen you guys since before you left.”

Stan murmured, “it sucked! My mom made us all go hiking and shit. It wasn’t fun at all. Who in their right mind would want to go hiking just to hike? There was no end goal.”

Kenny frowned, “I would.” Stan glanced at him, “yeah, but you like almost everything, Ken.”

Stan then grimaced, “I’m sorry you couldn’t come, Ken. Kyle’s mom was a bitch about it when my mom asked her.”

Stan looked at him apologetically throughout his rambling, but Kenny shook his head, “Nah, my dude you’re fine. I had stuff to do with Karen anyways, so I wouldn’t have been able to go anyway.” Liar.

The worry in Stan’s eyes dissipated slightly. “Oh, okay then. I’m glad we didn’t get in the way of your plans.” Kenny sighed mentally. He could handle Cartman and Kyle’s guilt, but not Stan’s. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but it had always been that way. 

“Yeah, so don’t worry about it, man.” He gently elbowed Stan. The other opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted. 

“WHAT’S UP, POOR BOY?!” Kenny's hood was yanked down violently, and snow was shoved into his back.

Holy shit was that cold. 

“Woah- WHAT THE HELL?” Kenny whipped around to find Cartman standing behind him, laughing his ass off. 

Stan glared “really dude? You know Kenny can sick easily.”

Both Kenny and Cartman paused for a moment to stare a Stan. Stan seemed to realize what he said, and sheepishly shrugged. 

Kenny ignored him in favor of taking off his parka. He began shaking snow out of it while Cartman began laughing again. At this point, Kyle had joined the group.

“I guess I’m last today- Kenny, why aren’t you wearing your parka?”

Kenny gave one last final shake to his coat before addressing Kyle, “Cartman.”

He heard Kyle give him a hum of understanding while he put his parka back on. 

Cartman had also ceased laughing, but he was still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“That’s what you get for losing my phone, asshole.”

Kenny rolled his eyes and tried snuggling into his coat to warm up.

It didn’t work.

He eyed Cartman as the boy turned his attention to Stan, “you gonna get your bitch back this year, Stan?”

Kenny glanced at Stan, to see him glower at the others question, “she isn’t a bitch, Cartman. And no, I’m not. She’s dating someone else now, and I’m going to respect that. Plus, I kind of stopped liking her at the beginning of freshman year.”

“Yeah, because she turned gay when you let her go to some party. Maybe you can change her back before it’s too late-”

This time, it was Kenny’s turn to glare, “Eric, can you do us all a favor and  _ shut the fuck up _ ? Thanks.”

Maybe it was the acidity in his tone, but Cartman gawked at him wide-eyed, and mouth gaping like a fish.

The bus pulled up just then.

**⠂**

Kyle had decided to spare both Kenny and Stan of Cartman’s bullshit by sitting next to him on the bus. 

Which, of course, had them in a heated argument by the time they arrived at school.

Stan and Kenny hung back as the two bickered while they entered the school.

“What locker numbers do we have?” Stan asked.

Kenny looked at his arm where he had written them down earlier. “Lockers… 17 and 18.” Stan nodded.

Because their last names were so close, their lockers always ended up next to each other. They eventually just ended up sharing the combinations and lockers.

When the foursome got into the school, there was a sign that directed them to the gymnasium. 

The four sat together as they waited for the announcements to start. 

The whole assembly was really only for the freshman, but they made everyone participate.

Someone tapped on Kenny’s shoulder, and he turned around. It was Bebe. 

“Hey,” she said, “you should try out of cheerleading this year.” Kenny raised a brow. Why in the hell would she suggest that to him of all people?

“Uh, no offense, but why?” She huffed, “Because Wendy and I got a look at the freshman this year, and none of them seem to be good candidates. I wanted you to join last year, but Wendy was being a stick in the mud about it.”

Oh.

“And what would change her mind this time…?”

Bebe smiled, “I’m her girlfriend.”

Kenny shook his head, “you are so spoiled,” he smiled anyway.

Bebe giggled, “yeah, I know.”

“But she isn’t the Cheer Captain -- how would she be able to even let me in”

“She has her ways, trust me.” Bebe winked at him.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a mic flicking on, and Kenny spun back around.

**⠂**

Cartman groaned as they headed towards their first-period class. Kenny shared English 10A with him. Sadly. “I can’t believe we still have to go to our first-hour class- it’s bullshit!”

Kenny grinned, “Yeah, but it's only 8:40, we still have 20 minutes of first period left.” He continued to smile when Eric groaned again.

When the two arrived at their class. Most of the class was filled with their own grade -- save for the few try hard freshman and lacking juniors.

Kenny and Cartman took a seat behind Craig and Clyde. 

Clyde whipped around to face the two of them. He was smiling. 

“Hey, guys! How was break for you two?”

Before Kenny could speak up, Cartman opened his mouth, “Why the hell are you asking, fatty?”

Clyde frowned, and this time Craig twisted around to address Cartman, “well look who’s talking.” Cartman glared at Craig. Kenny spoke before he could be cut off again, “it was fine, thanks for asking!” He smiled at Clyde, “you?”

Clyde shrugged, “it was alright -- mostly hung out with the guys. I did land a babysitting gig and-”

“He found out he sucks at it,” Craig piped in.

“Hey! I wasn’t that bad! All I did was fall asleep for fifteen minutes…”

Craig rolled his eyes, “yeah, and you woke up to the little bastards having you tied up and about to run you over with their toy train.”

Clyde whined at Craig and kept insisting that he wasn’t that bad. Craig ignored him.

Kenny just snickered and shook his head.

**⠂**

Fortunately, Kenny didn’t have lunch with Cartman first Semester.

Unfortunately, Kenny didn’t have lunch with Kyle or Stan, either.

Kenny scanned the cafeteria, holding onto his poor excuse of a lunch in a brown paper bag. He spotted some possible candidates. There was Craig's group (who all somehow had the same lunch, lucky), the cheerleaders, Butters hanging around some Freshman -- most likely trying to make them feel comfortable as they were in charge of Welcoming Committee, along with Scott.

Kenny immediately ruled out Scott and Butters -- he honestly didn’t feel like running around and welcoming people. 

He thought about the cheerleaders for a moment but ultimately decided against it. He knew Bebe wanted him to join Cheer and all, but he wasn’t sure if he had any time. He also didn’t want to be accused of being a pervert.

That left him with…  _ Craig's _ people.

Don’t get him wrong, he got along with them! But there was this unspoken rivalry between them. He didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea…

But when Kenny realized that Token was giving out extra food, and sealed his fate to them.

**⠂**

By the end of the day, Kenny had memorized his Monday schedule as best as he could. English 10 1A first hour, then Biology 1A, Algebra 1A, Creative Writing, and Band. So the first half of the day were all of his boring classes. Wonderful.

Kenny was currently walking with his boys back home -- they had decided to stay back to play basketball with Craig and his friends. Kenny was still slightly irked because they lost. His friends were chattering in the background.

It wasn’t like he was extremely competitive -- it’s just that Cartman had gotten distracted when Heidi had stopped by with some of her friends to watch.

They had a very brief history -- basically, they dated in Middle School but broke up because Cartman accused her of being too controlling, only to end up back together the next week. This cycle continued. Eventually, Heidi got tired of Cartman's BS and broke it off with him for good. 

Cartman, of course, being Cartman, was still hooked on her.

Suddenly, it was quiet.

Kenny noticed Kyle and Stan looking at him curiously. Oh. He wasn’t paying attention. Well then. 

He smiled, “well… I think that this conversation, has come to an end-” He gestured to the two diverging paths on the sidewalk. Kenny’s house was the exact opposite of town. 

Cartman ignored the trio while he kept trudging towards his house. He probably wasn’t in the mood after seeing Heidi.

Stan looked unsure, “well, we know you weren’t paying attention to the conversation, but we were asking if you wanted to hang out at my house for a while.”

Kenny considered it for a moment, before shrugging. “Sure, why not.”

The three walked on over to Stan’s place, and Kenny and Kyle began taking off their coats and shoes while Stan shouted to his mom.

“Mom, I have friends over!” Kenny plopped himself on the couch, Kyle following suite. Stan’s mom popped her head in, “Who- Oh, hello boys. Do you two want anything to drink?” Kenny politely declined while Kyle asked her for just a glass of water. She nodded and left to the kitchen.

Kenny turned his head towards Stan when he situated himself on the floor between Kenny and Kyle. 

Kenny raised a brow, “what, you too good to sit with us now?” Stan laughed, “No, I just play better on the floor, man.”

Kenny was sure that if Cartman were here, he would make a joke about Stan being a bitch -- because only dogs sit on the floor like good girls. Which…  _ really wouldn’t make any sense. _

Kyle spoke up, “whatever you say, man,” Stan’s mom walked in to hand Kyle a glass of water. Kenny tapped Stan with his socked foot.

Stan glanced at him, “what’s up?”

Kenny grinned, “what are we playing today, Mr. Marsh?” Stan blanched, and Kenny began to giggle. “Dude, don’t call me that, that’s what people call my dad!” Kenny began to full-on laugh at the response.

“What happened?” Kyle asked, taking a sip from his water.

“Kenny’s being an ass.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, “what’s new?”

Kenny stopped laughing and moped at Kyle, “hey!”

Kyle shrugged but smiled nonetheless.

“Okay okay, enough,” Stan intervened, “Xbox or PS2?”

“PS2-”

“Xbox-”

Kenny and Kyle stared at each other for a moment, before Kenny turned to Stan, “I genuinely don't care which one, I’m not picky.”

Stan shook his head, “Lady McCormick requested PS2, so PS2 we shall play.” Kenny barked out a laugh as Stan bowed to him and went to set up the PS2, while Kyle sat back and began grumbling.

Honestly, though, Kenny could go with any system. All he had was an old Nintendo64. The only game he could play on there was Ocarina of Time. Which had been played… many times. And apparently, his dad had found it in the dump half functioning -- Kevin had been able to fix it though.

The trio ended up taking turns playing GTA 3. They then turned to Metal Gear Solid 2 and ended up at Silent Hill 2.

At that point, Stan had ended up back at the couch, Kyle was sitting up straight in high alert, and Kenny was hiding behind Stan as much as he could.

After pausing for a fourth time that day, Stan put down the controller and stretched. 

“Hey Ky, y’know what time it is?” Kyle glanced at his phone, only to leap up. “Shit, dude it’s almost 8 o’clock. My mom has been calling me but I turned my phone off goddamnit- I’ve gotta go.” Kyle walked around the couch to put on his shoes.

Stan sighed, “I would say that she’s literally just a house over, but she’s also a control freak, so I can’t really say anything to help. At least she likes me -- she’ll just be mad at you.” Kyle groaned, and shoved on his coat, “I know, she’ll just be pissed I didn’t text her where I was -- I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” And with that, Kyle left.

Kenny whistled, “well that’ll be fun to deal with,” he looked towards the window, “I should probably head out soon too.” Stan nodded, “okay man, see you later.”

Kenny got up and slipped on his shoes and coat. He put up his hood and mask and walked out.

**⠂**

Unlike Kyle, he had already texted his mom when they first got to Stan’s. She let him know that dinner was ready about 20 minutes ago. Macaroni and mashed potatoes. Yum.

When he got there, Craig was there… which probably meant Tricia was there. Craig raised a brow as Kenny approached his home. "Thought you were already here, McCormick -- were you skipping rocks somewhere or what?” Kenny’s lips turned upwards, and he shrugged, “Nah, I was at Stans.” Craig just hummed. “You waiting for Tricia?” Kenny asked. “Yeah, she’s taking for fucking ever. I’m tired, and Tweek’s waiting for me at home.”

“Oh? You two going to-”

“No.”

Kenny pouted, “No? Oh wait -- your parents are probably gonna monitor you, aren’t they?” He shot Craig a sly smile.

“Who says they know he’s there? He can climb y’know” 

“Ah- he climbs you a lot, Mr.Tree?” Okay, not his best, but Craig was tall. Sue him.

Craig rolled his eyes, “No, and also, he’s just sleeping over. His parents keep trying to give him their cracked up coffee to taste test.”

Kenny frowned, “won’t they notice that their only child is missing?”

“Again, no. Those assholes won’t remember him until he talks to them first. Then they’ll force all their bullshit onto him.”

“Ah, well-”

The front door slammed open to reveal Tricia and Karen. Kenny’s mom was behind them. “Alright, Karen. Say goodbye to Tricia-”  _ ''Mom _ ! We’re not babies!” Kenny huffed out a small chuckle. Karen glanced at him, but smiled when she realized it was Kenny, “Hey Kenny! You’re back!”

Tricia stepped out and looked at Craig, “let’s go, asshat.” He flipped her off, and she returned it. The two waved at the McCormicks and descended farther down the road. 

Kenny’s mom ruffled both Karen and Kenny’s hair, “Alright, you gremlins. We need to eat.” Both siblings complained but smiled as they followed their mother inside.


	5. A/N: We still in for the long haul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, I’m still working on this fic

Hey!! So, you pals have probably noticed this hasn’t been updated in a bit. I honestly wasn’t sure if I was even gonna continue this. 

School got real busy, and I’ve been really up and down with my depression and anxiety lately. Still am. I’m stressed and I need to go back to work soon.

But as I was writing another chapter for a different fic I’m working on (not yet posted), I remembered this lil fella sitting in my incomplete works. 

Which... doesn’t change much. None of my drafted works are finished because I never posted them. I’m insecure, and my fat ass doesn’t want to post something without following through with it entirely. 

So I felt bad, and read what I had so far.

Not a lot, if I’m being honest. Just a bunch of horse shit. 

But I still found myself really entertained by this fic and my choice of writing and words, and I’ve come to a conclusion.

I am definitely going to finish this fic...

In time.

Meaning: I’m going to finish this fic, and I’m going to update it, but y’all need to give me a little more time. 

I know, frustrating. How can this asshole ask us to wait again after like five months of no update?

Easy, I just did.

But I understand if you’re frustrated, my dear reader. So I won’t be mad if you yell at me in the comments and unsubscribe from this work.

I’ll probably still cry though.

But for those of you kind hearted souls out there who I definitely do not deserve...

Here’s my game plan:

I currently have two fics in the works right now.

“A Predicament” (this one)

and a secret one 

The secret one isn’t a South Park fic, it’s an MCU one. So sorry. 

Not too hard, right? Just two measly fics. Shouldn’t be too hard to write and differentiate. Easy as cheesecake (I’m allowed to say that because I just ate some).

Well... not so much.

You see, I set a limit- or a goal, perse, for this particular fic to be 2,000 words per chapter. No less.

Seven months ago, that would’ve been a feat to accomplish. I could only write about 200 words and then give up!!

Then I told myself to stop being such a bitch and actually write more than a few paragraphs. Now I can probably crank out 2,000 words in about a day if I’m real inspired. Sometimes two- usually not over that amount of days, though. 

So, why am I still taking about this if I can write 2,000 words with ease? I’ll tell you why.

This fic is still gonna be set up for 2,000 words per chapter or more. That’s not gonna change. My formatting and writing in this story is not gonna change. My original plot for this story has not changed.

You still with me? Good. If you made it this far and are still reading, go ahead and comment “Kenny’s still short” for me after I tell you “it’s time” in the end notes.

Now, where was I? 

None of my original intentions with this story have changed.

But I have another story I’ve been working one — one that admittedly I’ve been putting much more TLC into. 

Also because it’s an MCU fic and with the MCU you either go big or go dig yourself a grave and lay down in it and wait to be buried because really there’s so many things you can do with the MCU why not just bury your 200 word doc here-

Sorry.

Anyways, go big or die, right? So of course, I have to set another minimum word count per chapter. You want to guess that number?

10,000 words per chapter.

Crazy, right?

And I’m not setting that limit to try to be a big shot or fancy. It’s for two reasons.

1) I’m trying to improve  
2) the story physically NEEDS more words to work

For the first point, well, it’s self explanatory. I want to improve my writing, but I can’t do that without setting a goal for myself. Which is currently get new chapters for this story out and work on the 10,000 word chapters for the MCU story.

Secondly, the MCU is HUGE. I’m really glad I’m only really including CINEMATIC events and characters, because if I was going just purely off the comics, that’s be a massive shit show.

The story is supposed to be Peter Parker centric. There’s a lot that will be going on in the story, and a lot of subplots. There’s going to be misunderstandings, death, blood, and a lot of heart break and angst.

This story... well... it’ll have certain elements, but it won’t be quite as convoluted as the MCU fic. 

This story was sparked from an actually pretty unique (in my opinion) idea, and I was really excited to start it.

Unfortunately, I didn’t really do a good job at fleshing out the plot — let alone what was happening in each chapter. I was so excited that I had something finished and was proud to post, but I didn’t have anything else ready. 

Which is why there hasn’t been a chapter. I hid a road block. I didn’t know what to do. And then my life went to shit irl. It still is currently.

But now, I DO have a plan. Whether or not it’s good is up to the future. 

What I’m going to do is do what I’ve done for my MCU fic in the works — I’m gonna make an outline for each chapter, and figure out where the end will be.

This will help immensely — I’ve already figured out that my MCU fic will (hopefully) be 20 chapters, all at least 10k each. That is m guideline and goal.

I have yet to start outlining for this story, but I will once I transfer all my notes for this work onto a digital doc.

That’s right folks, you heard me. My idea for this fic was written on several different papers I need to find so I can make sure my brain remembers what I’m going to do directly. Fortunately, my notes should be in my bag and sketchbook, so it won’t be a hard search.

Now, this story, I’m not sure when I’ll update. 

For the MCU one I’m working on, I know it’ll be multiple parts and the first part is the one with 20 chapters. I don’t plan on even posting it until the entire first part is finished. I’ve just completed chapter two and started chapter three tonight. I’ve edited both chapters so far, but I’m considering getting a beta. I just don’t want anyone to ruin the surprise (plus I need to trust the person not to tell people what’s happening).

I don’t know if I want to do that with this story though. Because this fic was more of a relaxed writing. Kind of. Certain things are important, but because I’m only giving myself a 2,000 word minimum for this fic, I’m hesitant to go over more than 45 chapters with this fic. Not to say it will, but I don’t want to drag this story out if it doesn’t need to be.

I just wanted to let you pals work that this work isn’t and never will be abandoned, and I am working currently to get it up and going again. 

You’re uber cool if you read the entirety of this bs. You’re pretty neat :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s time

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I hope you pals enjoyed this! I have some plans for Kenny, so buckle up!!
> 
> I plan on trying to update on Fridays either weekly or bi-weekly — if you have any questions feel free to dm me on discord @ casket me#6704
> 
> Please let me know if you see any mistakes, and feel free to leave a comment and/or kudos!!
> 
> Have a lovely life!!
> 
> ~Remy


End file.
